


Regrets

by MassivelyOriginal



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 03:32:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3675816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MassivelyOriginal/pseuds/MassivelyOriginal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Everyone is dealing with all this in there own way I guess this is my way. I may write Zach's regrets.. we'll see.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone is dealing with all this in there own way I guess this is my way. I may write Zach's regrets.. we'll see.

"What if you ask me, I have asked myself this for 15 years. I don't like to live with regrets, I actually pride myself on living life to the fullest and not having any regrets. However there is one regret that I will always live with, Lets start from the beginning.." 

 

My name is Frank James Michael Grande Marchione or Frankie Grande, which is what I actually go by. I'm 47 years old, I have a very fulfilling life, a wonderful family, a career in entertainment and great friends, what more can a person ask for right..

 

My story starts like everyone else's, I was born, I grew up and so on. Yes I was on Broadway and my sister is a international pop star but besides that I'm pretty much like everyone else.

 

In the summer of 2014 I was casted on a show called Big Brother. It was a very popular summer show back then, really it was a social experiment. Someone said hmm... if we lock away 16 strangers, give them no contact with the outside world and make them compete for a half a million dollars what would happen. I'll tell you, good TV.(he laughed) This show was crazy, there was backstabbing,fighting, alliances made and of course romances it was awesome. Bringing this back to me, I was casted as the gay guy on Big Brother 16. This would be the start of my biggest regret. Zachary Rance, was a cast member with me, he very quickly became my best friend in the house we did everything together. Including sleeping most of the summer in the same bed, Zach was straight or so he said, but lines were crossed that summer and even though I said I would never date a straight man or a man not comfortable with his sexuality again, I found myself falling head over heals for this adorable frat boy from south Florida. I didn't know what was happening between us in the house, we cuddled and flirted allot, but he said he was straight and I always took his word for it, at least back then.

We also didn't know at the time how our relationship was being received outside of the house. We were completely unaware of the fan base our relationship was forming, how many people were rooting for us, and our love for each other and even lots who were against it. Looking back on it now, the house was a boring paradise compared to the world, we were bored all the fucking time, but it was paradise because we were together with no outside influences, we were just ourselves,but this would change. Things in the house changed everyday, everyone was there to win a half a million dollars and only one person would, so in true human fashion we all lied, cheated and turned on each other, me and Zach fought allot and we ripped our trust in the game apart and even though we loved each I had to send him out of the house. In the end we both lost the game, I was lied to a quickly realized that I should have never sent him out but it was to late when I learned this lesson so what was I to do.

When the show ended,things were weird between us. The fans and media went crazy with the relationship that we hadn't even defined yet. Everyone wanted to know where we friends were we lovers, neither of us had the answers. So we both answered in our own ways. Me being openly gay had no issue telling people how much I loved him and wanted to be with him. Zach on the other hand was confused, He was trying to sort out what his feeling for me meant, was he gay now, he didn't know. He was overwhelmed by it all, and he ran from it. He claimed straight, he camed we were friends, Bro's. He even at some point said he used our relationship in the house as game play. I was hurt a little but I understood that he needed time to process his feelings. I gave it to him. Over the next few months we spent allot of time getting to know each other. Things in our lives were complicated. We had all these fans, begging for information, pictures, confirmation, it was harder for Zach, he was after all straight and having to deal with all the speculation on his sexuality. There were times when I thought we would be together, and times when I knew we wouldn't. Zach was like a crashing wave, he would come in fast and strong, but just as quickly he would fall back. The constant playing on my emotions hurt to bad, after all I loved this man with my whole heart and I wanted him to be my forever. After several months of his back and forth, I had enough. I might have gone about this the wrong way but it was all I knew, and I called his ass out on Social media. This was going to be his last chance, he either stepped up or I was done. I should have seen this coming, he stepped up, it was the best week of my whole life, I thought for sure this was the moment, he chose me, He wanted me, he loved me. However, whoever, something got to him and not long after that he pulled back again. So with a broken heart, I turned and walked away. I deserved better, I deserved someone who would be proud to love me. I have never doubted Zach's love not for one moment, everything about out time together, was real and passionate. What I doubted was Zach's love for himself and for what he was.

After Zach, it took some time to heal. I put a smile on my face, I sent out positive vibes, it hurt like hell but I did it. I haven't seen or spoken to him in 15 years. Once I was able to separate myself from him things worked out for the best. My career took off, I did another year on Big Brother, I started creating and singing my own music. I went on tour. I met some amazing people. I fell in love and out and in love again. I have an extraordinary life, but I have one regret. I regret that I fell in love with a man I met on a reality TV show. It changed my life. We are not together, but I will always love him no matter where he is or what he is doing. What we had was real, what we had will forever be in my heart and what we could have been will always be my biggest regret.


End file.
